it was a normal Saturday for Him

it was Saturday
and the skies were crystal clear
the sunlight was nice to walk by
but I saw raindrops from my window
last week we were laughing
and now we were arguing
June never felt this terrible.
that Friday night hit me like lightning on a starry sky
the weather outside my window was agreeable
but my Saturday morning was so blue, we argued
I was grieving,
you were celebrating.
your words cut deep into me
yet I was still
the one sorry
for bleeding our relationship
2020 was a spotless canvas, now it’s tainted
the colors were too much
it turned gray
and it’s my fault
because I was never good enough
and you were selfish
and I overcompensated all your sins, meanwhile
you were still holding onto 2022, replaying my flaws
over and over again
until the tape was broken
because you were never wrong
and I was never right
it was a normal Saturday for you
and it was the time
when I began to realize
that your heart was never full.
you were just attached
and I was merely there.
it was a normal Saturday for you
because that was how
you have been feeling
all along.
I didn’t know
that the house we built for years
was crippling from within
because you were
pretending.
and oh, my goodness,
you were a great — profound actor
and I was a lifetime, blind lover
“I’m okay,” said the liar.
it finally became a normal Saturday for you
because for once
in your life,
you’re being honest
with yourself.
when all was said and done
I didn’t know
what to do
but at last, you can see
that your day
will be so clear since then
“finally!” you thought.
is she so pretty?
is she so mature?
is she so flawless for you?
does she agree
with everything you say?
it was a normal Saturday for you
but my world was crumbling.
did you finally manage to talk to her
without being guilt-ridden?
did butterflies crawl through your stomach
when you sit in front of her
as you took pictures together?
is she your Favorite Fish now?
Gus Dapperton never sounded this lame.
is she your Mrs. Cold now?
I could never
listen to that song the same.
it was a normal Saturday for you
because you finally
gave me the chance
to see your truest self
so thank you
for setting me free
and maybe, just maybe
I should thank you,
for leaving.